Is Existential Stuff Even Real?

Mushrooms don’t make their own food. But they become food for others. Only if humans were as useful as an average mushroom is.

Not Any Famous Person

Rather than putting it politely, I’ll say it outright. Existential crisis is nonsense. Existentialism is garbage. There goes your safe space down the black hole of reality. People who buy into these ideas are losers. The premise being clear, let’s define existentialism now.

If Google can help people become pregnant, it makes sense to ask Google. A quick search gives this result.

I don’t understand the second half of it because I don’t have a PhD in decoding complicated language. My name isn’t Socrates or Aristotle either. So I’ll get to existentialism later.

A quick search on existential crisis gives the following result.

It is important to address this first. Let’s debunk this pile of junk philosophy by breaking it into smaller less junky parts.


Life has meaning. It may not have for some people. For those unlucky cry babies, posting memes on social media is a worthwhile pursuit. Human beings have an uncommon capacity to live with consciousness. Carl Jung and William James will tell you more about it. Read their work. The problem here is that consciousness is a capacity. How you use it is upto you. Whether you use it is also upto you. Fun fact – amoeba is as alive as you are. It replicates and dies without consciousness. This brings us to the next point.


Life’s purpose can vary. My life’s purpose at 5 was to become superman and fly with birds. At 10 I wanted to vanish from my classroom and sleep for eternity. At 20 my purpose was to not die without looking at a naked woman. Porn doesn’t count. Those women weren’t real. Anyways. Purpose of your life fluctuates. It varies. Depending upon emotional states, time spend reading Jean-Paul Sartre and how much alcohol you consume. A dog’s purpose is to avoid dying in a dog fight. Prevent attacks from wilder animals. And impregnate as many bitches as possible. Humans have consciousness and it becomes a problem for some folks. They end up in a circle of irrational melodrama and stay passive. An active and much less irrational dog is laughing at those loser bums. Cuddles to him.


This again is a personal thing. My value is a sum of what I do and how much I am getting rewarded for my deeds. Rewards include things besides money. Social approval can also be added to this because I don’t live under a rock. You are as valuable as you make yourself to be. If Mike Tyson never boxed, his value would’ve been different. So would have been his purpose. Also meaning. Reverse thinking from value to purpose to meaning is an effective method. Try it. Unless you’re sitting in the bathroom all day and skinny dipping in misery.

By now you’re wondering what I am trying to say? Wait a minute. I’m not as fast as Buzzfeed. Good things take time.

Centuries ago, people used to inquire about existentialism. Just like we do now. Hence the term Know Thyself. There are three ways to look at Know Thyself:-


Because you can. If you don’t, you’ll live and die like an animal or a parasite. Failing to use the gift of consciousness you are born with. Eating, sleeping and dumping shit will be your primary pursuits. You might also get laid. Fine way to go. But better alternatives exist.


The most useful aspect. Rather than self-defeat yourself into doing nothing, it is good to begin with how. The process of creation starts with How. Why can help you think. But How will help you act. Remember, we have consciousness. You’ve to figure out the How of utilising it.

Then What

Nothing much. By the time you’ll know thyself, another unexplored area within you will crop up. Then pay attention to that. I learned basic animation at 14. I recently learned photo-editing. I regularly educate myself on psychology. All these things are external but I’m involved in them. Isolation is for atoms. Human mind works in cohesion.

That sums it up. The next time you are thinking about your existence, recall that you have a choice. To do or not to do, that’s what the question is. Shakespeare said something similar in Hamlet. He was smart and Nietzsche can lick his ass. Now go and contemplate. If you get an answer, share with me also. I intentionally skipped on existentialism. It is for academics to talk about. Listen to them if you want to go down that road of feeling dumb. An existentially dreading person further went into depression after reading this blog. I’m pleased.

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