Waiting at the metro station was no fun. No amount of cigarettes can kill the time that someone takes to meet you. The only deciding factor for the wait is whether the meeting is worth your time or not. It was my time to decide and the call came. I have taken the exit, she said and I went towards her with bandages in my hand. During her commute, she had called me to ask whether I was carrying bandages by any chance. I suspected that her shoes might be giving her a hard time just like men do when they see her. A girl who is hot and knows how to carry herself, that girl has to pave her way through the world of men who walk with nicely plastered smiles in order to cover that erect stick in their pants. I was wondering what would happen if she gives me a hug but instead, I gave her the bandages before she could come close enough to smell and realise that I had taken a bath that morning. Why did I buy the bandages? She just asked about them. Did she ask me to buy? No. She just asked about them. She looked at the gol-gappa vendor and got excited to smother her mouth with them but I insisted that we first head towards the cafe because coffee was a limited stock whereas gol-gappa was not. A walk of two kilometres made me understand more about her interests in looking at grass-root level rural problems and what all she plans to do in her career in the coming years. During the way, all around us were voluptuous girls surrounded by bearded guys and here was I walking next to her. Maybe I am worth her time, I told myself and put to sleep the doubtful loner bum that resides inside me. That loner bum always gets me in trouble but this time it is not gonna happen, I told myself.
She was sitting in front of me with a face that would melt the heart of a baby goat. We were sipping coffee and I was looking at her lips the insides of which were wet with caffeine and sugar. Sometimes it makes sense to focus on being where you are rather than fantasising. So I got myself back to telling her about mating psychology because discussing human behaviour is what I love to do. Our talks went from making sense to poking fun and all the while we drank coffee, we shared our thoughts on unhealthy relationships and obstacles to social change. And yeah, when we had just sat on the bamboo chairs in the cafe, she had taken out the bandages and pasted them where her shoes were biting. Did I do a good job by getting the bandages? I don’t know. She just asked about them.
When we were sitting and talking, she showed an interest in travelling and I suggested that we visit a farm in Madhya Pradesh. If not that, we can go anywhere else also, she said and at that fucking moment, the voice in my head gave a loud shout in exclamation. Travelling with her would be so much fun. We would sit under the stars, walk through barren roads amidst shady trees, eat from the same plate and use the same bathroom slippers. Too much imagination kills the fun in reality, I told myself and got back to looking at her mouth which now had a chewing gum in it. Would the chewing in her mouth taste sweeter than the sound of her vocal cords? She asked me whether I read books or not which gave a break to my mind that was busy with stuff like chewing gum in her mouth. The time to say goodbye to the cafe had come and when we were leaving, she moved her hand and gestured me to walk out first. Chivalry rocks.
In the next two minutes, we were near the deer park and since she had never visited that place before, we headed towards its gate. At one point of time in order to lead me towards the direction of the park, she put her hand around my waist. If I haven’t told you before, let me tell you now. A girl who is almost as high as me, when that tall of a girl is in my vicinity, I am already bursting with pleasure at the mere presence of her. And this pretty lady, she placed her hand on my waist. Oh man, I had goosebumps down the balls. The loner bum that resides inside me felt a rush of hormones and neurochemicals and before he could build any self-styled expectations, I asked him to shut the fuck up. Two cigarettes down and a few minutes of strolling through the park looking at a number of deers, we began walking back to the point where we had initially met. The gol-gappa vendor was still standing at the same place and she was as excited to have them then as she had been when she saw the vendor three hours before. Both of us had two plates each. She was very fond of them and I have no idea when was the last time I had touched a gol-gappa. But I know this for sure that they were not as tasty, mouth-watering and throat-burning as they were then, with me standing next to her.
The night ended with both of us coming together for a mildly intimate hug that was close enough to feel each other’s skin but not so close that we could listen to our beating hearts. Thankfully she didn’t listen to my heart which was asking her to not go. She is the kind of girl who would get apprehensive when a guy would come to talk to her just so that he can fulfil his selfish desires in future. I didn’t want to be that predatory guy with all that niceness around me because if fancy words and phrases could open up a woman’s legs, translators would be getting laid more than Brad Pitt and Osho’s followers combined. I returned home and all that I could think of during my bus journey was what she talked about, her bag, her ideas and the chewing gum in her mouth that had been so close to her almost C-shaped teeth. If you think I am objectifying her, you have no idea what all I had to cut out from my mind that was being stimulated by my inner loner bum whose brain functions from my scrotum. Thankfully I can differentiate what I am thinking and what that loner bum inside me is making me think. How could I forget? When we had parted ways and she was walking away from me, all that I could see from behind were the bandages pasted near her ankles that were smiling at me. Were the bandages worth the effort I made to get them from the chemist shop that was half a kilometre away? Maybe yes. But she had just asked about them.
Later that night, I spent two hours researching where all we could travel. I talked to three friends who stay in Chandigarh, Mathura and Palampur. All of this because I want to travel with this girl who thinks animals are better than humans and it is fun to walk on roads that are devoid of human visibility. I came up with a two-city travel plan for six nights and six days which would cost us a total of no more than INR 6000. Paying INR 3000 to know her more is an amazing deal which very clearly excited me. Would my excitement be the same if there was another girl in her place? No, because she is what she is and I can’t replace her with anyone else. Even I get choosy at times. The guy who would fuck the brains out of any girl willing to fuck him, even he gets choosy at times.
Around midnight, we were on a call for twenty minutes where we discussed the travel plans. On one hand, I was thinking I should not get too invested because it has never been a good thing in the past. On the other hand, I was just doing what I wanted to do because if I keep on moving ahead with old experiences, I am simply stagnant and not learning. I will then become a potato that lies under the ground in its own world where only other potatoes care about him. And I don’t think she would be interested in a potato who plays hard to get when he doesn’t wanna play hard to get. So we talked on the phone, then on text and finally, I slept my way to peacefulness. Has this happened before? Yes, it has. What happened? A girl who I knew three years back, she didn’t have any goosebumps in my presence, only I had. Okay, then what? I told her about the chills I get in my lower back when I shake hands with her. So, what did she say? Appreciated my courage and honesty but never gave an answer. Ooo I see, what now? I think that time has come full circle. What are you planning to do next? Send this to the gol-gappa girl. The loner bum who resides inside me just smashed his head into the wall of my chest but the sensible me is happy that you have come this far and read the whole of it. See you.
Arpit Chhikara 