Happiness is a myth that is more over-rated than the screenplay of Hangover 3, Justin Bieber’s sexual orientation and Modi’s fancy-ass suit. A lot of charlatans run their homes by scamming the ordinary man by selling him the concept of happiness. Count that bearded weirdo’s Art of Living bullshit in this scamming process. One of his website articles was shared with me by some blind follower. That article on happiness was, in reality, nothing more than a mockery of an unhappy human. There were steps given to find and build and create and pursue happiness. After reading it I found myself get into the spiral of shithollery because everything that was written there was written with an intent to get people to follow the Guru to attend his next purpose finding course and smother his face with cash. If someone tells you’re not happy or rich or fit or sexy and asks you to come to them for finding the real you or the best you, a scam is being initiated with you as a potential victim. Beware, they’ll call you a seeker and not a victim. Get yourself away from such people as fast as you can because later you’ll regret spending your time, money, resources and energy on some worthless piece of potty which makes you feel good in the short term and regretful in the long term. With enough hatred poured down on the screen, now you can go ahead and read the steps on how to not be happy and get content in life. The headlines are our scamster Guru’s effort and rest all is my frustration. Read now and thank me later when you repel all the happiness-seeking folks in your vicinity.
Reduce your needs and increase your responsibilities
This is the counter opposite to being contented. To make yourself liberated, you have to let go of every wasteful responsibility from your life that asks you to move. Just sleep, eat and shit and jack off to Milf porn. That’s it. The more you increase responsibilities, the harder you’ll have to work and think which is not really worth the effort. When it comes to reducing your needs, it makes sense only if you are willing to buy a pair of socks when the last pair has a hole in them and your friends refuse to give you theirs. Ahem.
Look at people who have bigger problems than you
Dumb ass advice was given by our beloved Guru. If you go by this logic you’ll never be okay with yourself. Putin has way bigger problems than yours but how does that even make a difference in your life? It makes you a psychopath if you are happy looking at people dying in terrorist attacks. Comparison looks good only during football matches when the goals of players are being counted. In real life, equating your problems and success with others is a foolish man’s escape strategy.
Don’t be unhappy about being unhappy
It doesn’t work like that. You are where you are because of your past decisions. If you’re unhappy about it you’re unhappy with your whole bloody life. In that case, you might be clinically depressed. Go consult a psychiatrist rather than blabbering a prayer.
Drop unpleasant memories of the past and live in the present
It makes sense to first know what is an unpleasant memory of the past. Some of our actions bring bad results but leave us wiser than before. If you categorize those actions under unpleasant memories, you’re not learn anything and living in the present with no wisdom from your past to back you up. Whatever you did, you did. Live with it and face your shit and never look back. This is being present and it brings satisfaction. It does.
Know that everything is temporary
This is not applicable to a permanent tattoo or milk teeth or the expanding universe theory. Other than that you can give yourself a kick by believing that nothing stays forever. Be it the guy who cums inside of you or your parents who hate your jobless guts. Everything is temporary and so is your pursuit to chase happiness. Soon it will be overpowered by an urge to drink vodka till oblivion and you’ll be back to feeling shit about your existence. Till then keep on jamming that everything is temporary.
Dedicate your life to a larger goal
It is a great concept that you can apply and use to become an addict gamer who survives on GTA and Counter Strike. You shall have something more to do in life than find a job, get married and raise kids who’ll later get a job and get married. When you play games, you become that character and think and feel and act like him. Every obstacle you cross is a win in your heart and with every win, you reach closer and closer to your larger goal. This is how you can utilize your time and feel contented. If you have GTA 5, do invite me to play along. It has been time since I felt I was living for a larger goal.
Take the decision that “I will not allow any situation to bog down my happiness”
This seems more illogical than Trump’s comments on sensitive matters like racism and homosexuality. The power to react is always upon you. How can you blame it on any situation for making you unhappy? It is like saying I feel hot because there is the Sahara Desert in Africa. The last line doesn’t make any fucking reasonable sense. And neither does this point by our pathetic Guru.
At all costs, save your mind
You can’t save your mind because it is not your pocket money that will be consumed or banana shake that your brother will drink or your ass that will be crushed in the pursuit of joy. The mind is like the belly. What you feed your belly to be healthy, feed the mental equivalent of that to your head. So avoid news, gossip, social media and spend time in doing what makes you tick. Read books and watch movies that you like. The mind will then be saved. And yeah, don’t follow people who try to sell happiness. That way you are presupposing in your head that you’re unhappy which later makes you susceptible to deception. Read the last line once again.
Have faith because faith by itself can make you happy
This is complete bullshit. A lot of people live in this world who have an ignorant back towards sects and religions and cults and blind worship. It is better to immerse yourself in those principles that give you contentment and follow them rather than join some hipster run soul searching group. Not many people tell you to do your own thing because that is not what they have on their agenda. Don’t be a part of someone’s agenda in the name of faith. Find yours by walking alone every morning, post-lunch napping every afternoon, meditating every evening and masturbating every night.
Share your happiness and it will grow
This is something that can work only if you have happiness. And that is not something that we were planning to find and build and create and pursue. Look for contentment and when people will see you contented, they’ll try to mess you up. But you’re contented and won’t care about them so their agenda will be left in between. Then you’ll be delighted to see the results of your actions and more contentment and self-assertion will come in. You shared your contentment with others and they got pissed off. Superb.
This was all that I had in my brain about being unhappy and content that I wanted to ejaculate from my mouth on this screen. One day a lady who conducts workshops on happiness asked me whether I was happy or not. I said no. She then asked whether I would like to be happy or not. I again said no. She could not extract money from my financially downtrodden pocket because I was contented. I hope one day she doesn’t find anyone to attend her happiness workshop. I wish more people get contented in their present life. Now it is time for some sleep because it relaxes your brain. Bye bye.
Arpit Chhikara 